Not too much to talk about.
I'm moving into my moms house in a matter of days.
I have to give Claude away for a while until I can get a place of my own.
I don't like talking about it. It makes me cry.
I read a lot again. I like that.
I don't see a lot of people anymore.
I like it in the sense that I can so a lot of soul searching, and accomplish more personal goals and what not.
I hate it in the sense that I miss these people with all my heart and would love nothing more than to hang out with them, all of them, like last year but hey, I guess that's what summer is for right? RIGHT?! so yeah, hit me up guys, I'd love to see all of youuu!!

I visit Gabbie at Lids and help her sell hats. I flirt with men and tell them they look nice in their cap.
I get drunk with James on the weekend. I really do adore him. I can't believe we've been friends for a year. I never really expected us to be friends at all, but we clicked for some bizare reason. I enjoy his company cery much.

I eat too much fast food. Shame on me.
I walk a lot though. I like to think that compensates for it.

I don't write a lot of anything anymore. It makes me meloncholy. Nothing seems to sound good enough.

I like talking about books a lot now. I like it when people talk about books with me.

I love my job @ DEB. The girls are awesome, my duties kick ass, and I bust shoplifters like it's nobodies business. I may be getting a promotion, which means raise, which means goodbye Shaws. Hooray!

I really don't know what I want out of life right now. I didn't graduate highschool...again. I don't care though. I stopped caring a while ago. I'm not sure if I ever cared at all. I could try for my GED, or I could try one more time. Either way I know I'm a joke to myself. I feel like I've let my parents down a lot. But they've let me down a lot too, so I guess it evens out? Then why do I still feel so shitty? Oh yeah, Im cheating myself out of a very valuable thing, I just wish I cared more. I guess that's what bothers me. Not the fact that I didn't gradaute, the fact that I don't care that I don't care. Make sense? My apathy towards the situation is bothersome to me.

I want a change. I'm going to do something to my hair. How Carrie Bradshaw of me.

The other night I found myself sitting on a street corner crying my eyes because it felt like no one in my family wanted me. I've felt that way for a while now, I know it's my own dooming sense of paranoia that makes me feel that way...or is it? I know my family loves me. Whatever it is, I hope it goes away soon, and I find someone, anyone who wants me around. I feel like a burden to a lot of people.

I had an incredibly brief fling with a 33 year old who turned out to be the laughing stock of the music industry. We talked a grand total of 7 days, and I still get incredibly depressed when I think about him, and he was the dick. It's a shame he was an insensitive prick, I'm convinced he would have made a wonderful boyfriend. Needless to say, I'm still hurt confused, and hella spiteful. I have letting go issues.

I've gotten trashed and made out with several men at parties. I work in the mall with one of them, it's incredibly awkward now when I go to McDonalds. whatever though, I'm young, and apparently that makes life all about being stupid and having awkward quasi sexual encounters.

Anywhooooo, I wrote way more than I expected to and that's not even all I wanted to say. So that is what's going in my life right now. It's not exciting, it's not glamorous, and it's not how it was supposed to turn out, but it's the hand I got delt, and I'm making the most of it.

And don't forget,
I love you all even if I have a funny way of showing it
<3333

My dad just told me we're being kicked out of our house....



I am truly terrified..

AN UPDATE OF LIFE THUS FAR:

I have the internet back at my house after what appears to be around 4 months with out it, thus proving that I can survive with out it.

I have a crush on every boy
*teen girl squad reference...also very true.

I am 19 years old.

I am very poor.

I will be acquiring a house with ryan roy, julia, and hopefully taylor sometime around the summer.

I have pink eye.....again.

I take one single class at CCV, and it's actually really really fun.

I am thinking about attending near full time around the fall

I still work at Shaws.

I have a strange new love for hip hop.
Chelsea Montanai and I....are essentially the same person...she just has better boobs.

My throat really hurts.

Im still classy.

I am being published in the Burlington Free Press.
It's a shitty local newspaper.
But, I am being published in something.

Is it weird that I think you might be the only man in my life right now who gets me...or who will just listen in general?
"Is Hannah good in class?"
Looks at me. Looks at admistrator.
"She's phenominal"


It's a shame you're happily married.

This summer has easily been the best of my life. After last years went so dreadfully, it was time for a change.
I have truly loved almost every minute of it. I have met people, connected with people, and re connected with people who will forever change my life.
I have gotten trashed off everything from $4 wine to $45 vodka.
I have made poor decisions.
I have made wise ones.
Oh man, have I made some poor decisons.
I've taken risks I've been dreaming of since 8th grade.
I've smoked myself into crazed stupors.
I've made several rude telephone calls.
I have bought cute clothes.
I've had cash out the ass to spend
I've been broke as all fuck.
I've been respected
I've been hated [...i think.]

I've had the most amazing time an 18 year old girl about to repeat her seniour year could have.
=]

Remember the time we all sat outside school. It was late, and none of us brought money for that stupid dance. So we just hung outside while the cool kids danced to music we didn't even like. And we laughed, and walked to Ballards, and Paul and Kyle built a fortress of rocks, and everyone held hands with everyone because it was no big deal.

Euny, Remember when you and I walked all around downtown, and then to Battery St Jeans and bought you a wedding dress. And we were stupid the whole way there, but we didn't care at all.

Tasha, remember the night Paul thought I was angry at him because of the mix up about winter ball, and he wanted me to call him to talk things over. And every five minutes I'd put the phone down and cover it up and tell you what he was saying. And we couldn't stop laughing, and then I'd try to act all serious on the phone.

Remember when Kyle had a party at his house, and we all rode the bus over because none of us (and still most of us) couldn't drive. And Tasha was too scared to talk to Tony, and Paul and I pretended to get married outside. and we watched Sin City, and David was silly, and Haley was adorable, and Adam Blanchard and I "mated" on the couch.

Do you remember when Tasha and I stayed at her house and watched Forest Gump and then went to the fair, and met up with Paul Rory and David. And David still didn't like me very much, and Rory kept on asking me to buy him things, and Paul got sick, and Rory and Tasha held hands he won her a unicorn, and later that night Tasha and I made the emo sword and talked to Rory and Paul on multiple 3 way calling systems.

Max, remember when you were my best friend in the world, and we would steal your mothers mini van every night and drive to the mall. And that one time we picked up Nick, Ryan, Hilary and Haley, and drove them all home, and you sped and everyone was really scared, and we almost didnt make it home in time.

And then the time we went to the gazebo. And played truth or dare, and laughed because Kyle peed on the library. And Kristen did a pole dance on a tree. And we ate pizza and drank soda at Max's, and his parents asked why we were all out of breath and tired looking.

Remember when Kyle got his lisence and the first day he had it, and he took Paul Euny and I out driving, and we listend to Waking Ashland, and we played in the darkness at Charlotte beach?

And the time Euny and I stared down Haley Bruce on church st, because we recognized her from myspace? And then only to meet her two hours later and fall in love with her and her adorable self.

Remember when a bunch of us saw Rent? And I hated it, and Adam got mad at me for it.

Remember that one Halloween at Norahs? And we all looked really silly, and Jane and Kyle were flight attendents and pilot. and Euny was the dead bride, and Paul wore a fat woman costume, and Hilary, Haley and Jill showed up and we told reall scary stories under the table, and Paul scared us. and Kristen got a toy boat stuck to her tights and it took us twenty minutes to get it unstuck. And Rory and David couldn't go, and it was sad.

I wish i could write you all letters.
especially the ones I've been with the past couple of weeks.

to tell you all how much you mean to me.
and how you're making this the best time of my life.

My name is Hannah Ruby Greer. I was born on February 9th, 1989 at 7:20am. I am 18 years old, and I believe I was born two years earlier than I was supposed to be. The future terrifies me, and I fear I'll develop a serious Peter Pan complex. I am the most confidant self loathing person I've ever laid eyes on. I am the human cliche. I develop patterns of repetition because I think it sounds beautiful. I have a flair for the dramatics, which is quite possibly the largest understatement of the century. I write stories and poems that only make sense to me. I create personal inside jokes with myself and apply them. Make of them what you will. I make friends with boys easier than I do with girls. Call me crazy, call my psychotic, but you've had as much bad experience as I have with them, you'd be cautious too. The girls I am friends with, I trust with my life. I give too many second chances to people who don't deserve them. I like to think there is something good about everyone, which leads to me realizing that as much good, there is also bad. I'm incredibly well spoken. My linguistics are always acurate. Language is a beautiful thing to me, and I don't think people use it to its full potential. I'm fat. Not pudgey, big boned, or doughy. I'm flat out fat. I've accepted the fact that I'll never be skinny, but that doesn't stop me from dreaming about cat walking sometimes. I'm not gorgeous, beautiful, makeup pretty, or naturally pretty, but I am kinda cute. Cute Fat Hannah. I dress well for my body type and I'm constantly critiquing people on their style. I have the best group of friends in the entire world. With out them I wouldn't be the person I am right now. Popularity is important to me. I constantly crave approval, and by being myself, I feel fake. I'm a complex creature, and if you get to know me...you'll probably agree, but you can smile and pretend to understand me. Becareful when you become my friend, because you may wind up breaking my heart.

"Im not gonna lie, at times my friends can be snotty, and arogant, self centered, and pretty elitist, but what you have to understand is that we're all pretty tights, and that we act this way b/c we wanna make sure a friendship is for real, not some passing fad so we'll look at eachother down the road one day, just nod, and go on our way. We act this way because we want to remember eachother.

It's hard explaining it to some people.